


Scars

by Themoabird



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 17:54:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12259221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themoabird/pseuds/Themoabird
Summary: Remus gets some new scars, and his self-esteem drops. Sirius has a crush and really wants to help.





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever, like ever ever. I was really nervous about posting it. But thanks to one of my best friends and fantastic Beta reader Eddy, it's now posted. Also Englis isn't my first language, so I will happily accept any critisism. Happy reading!!
> 
> And to all my friends who thought it might be fun to read it, please don't tease me about it. I might die!!!

It was in his sixth year at Hogwarts when it happened. It had been a particularly rough full moon and even though all of the marauders had been there, the wolf hadn't been able to control itself. It had lashed out on everything, including itself. Even Sirius, who so often could get the wolf to calm down hadn't been able to. So when Remus woke up the day after, his whole body ached. 

 

Remus winced at the pain when he tried to sit up, and soon gave up and laid down instead. He was in the hospital wing, as usual after a full moon. But today he felt even worse than usual. He tried to figure out what time it was, but from where he was laying it was close to impossible. Remus tried again to sit up, and was a bit more successful than before. He looked around to see if someone else was there, but he was completely alone. Remus sighed with relief, as much as he liked his friends to be there, after a particularly bad moon he rather be alone. 

 

Suddenly he heard steps coming towards him. Remus raised his eyes and saw madam Pomfrey. “Why are you sitting up?” she demanded as she pushed Remus down to a laying position again. He let out a groan and felt a sudden sting across his face. Remus instantly went up to touch it but Pomfrey waved his hand away. Remus threw her a mean look, but she only sighed. “You came back with a lot of new scars today Remus” she said. “And many of them were already too long gone for me to heal them” Remus felt a chill go down his spine as he thought of the sting he had felt across his face. He had managed to stay away from visible scars for almost eleven years, if he ended up with one on his face his life would be ruined. Remus was already self conscious as it was, he didn't need anything else to struggle with. He had been taking showers early in the morning since the second day of school to keep people from seeing his scars, and he always got dressed behind closed curtains. His thoughts snapped back to reality when Pomfrey moved from where she was standing. “I'm gonna go get a mirror now Remus” she said and panic rose within him. He heard her steps move away from his bed and then come back again. “I'll give you some time alone, but don't pick at them” she said as she handed him the mirror. Remus accepted the mirror hesitantly and then watched her walk away. He really didn't know if he wanted to look, but he had to face it sometime. Slowly Remus turned the mirror at his face.

 

~~~•~~~

 

“Do you think we can go visit him soon?” Sirius asked. Peter sighed and shook his head. “James, he's complaining again” he said and shoot a meaning look towards James. “You know we can't go there yet, Poppy would kill us. She said no visitors.” James said and looked at Sirius. “And considering the scene you made there this morning, I'd say it's not going to go better this time”.

 

After the marauders had left Remus in the shrieking shack this morning, Sirius had been eager to see him again. The moon had been particularly bad and they hadn't been able to control him as good as the usually would. So as soon as Remus was back in the castle, Sirius had went to see him. Of Course Poppy hadn't let him in, so he had punched a wall so he too was injured and in need of medical care. Poppy had almost lost it. She went on a big rant on how he was taking away time from people who actually had real injuries and how irresponsible he was. It had almost made I'm feel a little bad, but he just really wanted to see Remus. But he did not get the chance, Madame Pomfrey had sent him to Mcgonagalls office and he had ended up in detention.

 

Sirius sighed. The thought of Remus being all lonely in a hospital bed made his heart ache in a strange way. Sirius had always been a little weak for the other boy, but since fourth year he had discovered that he had a bloody big crush on Remus. But of course Remus wouldn't feel the same way so instead he was pining away for almost two years now. All he wanted to do was to  snog the other boy completely senseless and just cuddle him. But Remus never let anyone close to him, and he probably wasn't even gay.

 

Sirius didn't even realise that he was lost in his own thought till Peter nudged his shoulder. “Come on, we have to go. Don't wanna be late for potions”. Sirius sighed, this day was never going to end.

 

~~~•~~~

 

Remus looked hideous. One long red line went straight across his face. From his left temple and across his nose. He also had one going from just above his lip that continued down his chin and then to his collarbone. Remus felt tears sting behind his eyelids. Ugly. He raised a hand to his scars and touched the bridge of his nose. There was no chance in the world he could hide these. He traced the lip scar all the way down and tears began dripping down his cheeks. He was never going to show his face again. He had to quit school. Remus could not go ‘round looking like this. He truly looked like a monster. Remus had never felt worse, he wouldn't be able living with himself knowing that he looked like this. No one would ever love him. How was he supposed to face his friends, as for the entire school. People would realise that he was a werewolf. Remus heard Pomfreys steps coming back towards him and he quickly dried his tears. He couldn't let her see him cry. Pomfrey sat down besides his bed and gave him a look of compassion. “I know how you feel right now Remus, but you have to understand that nobody is perfect. And nobody will judge you just because you have scars”. “Except they will” Remus interrupted. “What am I going to tell everyone, I can't really tell them I'm a werewolf”. He almost didn't realise he'd raised his voice ‘till he saw the startled expression on Madame Pomfreys face.”Now lets not get worked up about this, I have done everything I can. The best thing you can do is go back to your dorm and I'll talk to Dumbledore about the situation” she calmly explained. “Deal with your friends first, and I'll deal with the school”.

 

~~~•~~~

 

When Remus went back to the Gryffindor tower, he was lucky enough to avoid all people. He met no one. The first person he had to interact with was the fat lady. “ Oh you poor thing, what happens to you?!” she asked as soon as she laid eyes on him. “Dracorex Hogwartsia” Remus tried, but she didn't open. Instead she called out for one of her friends in another portrait. “Oh darling what have happened to you” the friend exclaimed as she saw Remus. “Who would do such a horrible thing?” It appeared she didn't expect an answer to the question, as she begun to talk to the fat lady in hushed voices. “Dracorex Hogwartsia” Remus said again, and this time she let him in. As soon as he was inside the common room he hurried to get to the dorm. Even though there was nobody there, he really much would like to just lay down in his bed.

 

~~~•~~~

 

“Hurry up!” Sirius said to the other boys. The school day was finally over and they could go see Remus. “Could we just stop by the dorm really fast and drop of our things?” James asked. “No, you just wanna catch up with Evans. She's never gonna go out with you mate, just stop trying. And Remus is way more important than her right now” Sirius answer and pulled James and Peter along. Peter laughed. “Sirius is right mate, you have no chance whatsoever with her”. James pouted but let himself get dragged  along.

 

“What do you mean he's not here?” 

“What I mean Mr. Black is that I sent him back to the dorm” Poppy answered. “So if you want to see him that's where he is. But please be gentle with him, it was a rough night. Sirius sighed, they had come here for nothing. But at least they knew where he was now. “ Thanks Poppy, we will”. Sirius said as he once again dragged James and Peter behind him. 

 

~~~•~~~

 

Remus heard when the other three boys came in to their shared room. He heard their low whispering and their tiptoeing steps. They were trying to not disturb him. Remus thought that if he pretended to be asleep, they wouldn't try to talk to him, but well, that was never going to happen. Remus cheeks was damp with tears and he really didn't want to see his friends right now. Remus had, in his own opinion, never been good looking. And to have to see his friends who all looked good was terrible. Sirius with his grey eyes and perfect hair and cheekbones was the worst. Remus had a crush on him. Even though he couldn't admit it to himself, it had always been there. But Sirius always had a string of girls behind him and would never be interested in Remus, especially when he now looked like this.

 

“Moony?” Remus heard someone say. “You awake?” He didn't move, trying to be quiet. But of course it didn't work. His breathing was way too fast and you could hear him nuzzling closer into his pillow. Remus heard the curtains to his bed be pulled away but didn't look up, he only pulled the pillow closer to his face. “I know you're there” said a soft voice as someone sat down on the bed. “I don't want to talk” Remus said, voice muffled by the pillow. He would not show his face. “Remus, come on. It's Sirius, you can talk to me. Whatever happened it can't be so bad”. Remus shaked his head against the pillow, but Sirius just laid a hand on his shoulder and tried to turn his head up. “Please Moony, you know we care about you” he said but Remus just shook his head again. He couldn't talk to all three of them at the same time. “I can't talk to You at the same time” Remus said. Sirius nodded and got up from the bed. Then he went to James and Peter. “He says he won't talk to us all at the same time” he explained. Peter sighed. “Well I guess Prongs and I can go down to the common room. Might as well get some homework done.”

 

When Prongs and Wormtail were gone Sirius returned to Remus bed. The werewolf was still curled up with his face buried in pillows. He looked so peaceful, but Sirius knew that wasn't the case. “They are gone now” he said as he sat down. Remus didn't move, but he seemed a little calmer. “Please Moony would you just talk to me, what is wrong?” Sirius tone was almost desperate, he had never seen Remus this way before. All of a sudden Remus sat up, not facing Sirius and with his face in his hands. “I really don't know what to do Padfoot” he said. “I really don't”. Sirius had no idea what Remus was on about, but it couldn't be that bad. “Please Remus, just look at me I'm sure wherever it is it can't be that bad”. Remus snorted, but he slowly turned his face towards Sirius.

 

“Bloody Hell” Sirius exclaimed when he saw the other boys face. It was covered in scars. Sirius suddenly understood why he had been hiding in the pillows, he probably thought he look ugly. He also realised that “bloody hell” probably wasn't the best reaction. The expression on Remus face was heartbreaking. “No, that's not what I meant…” he tried, but Remus had already thrown himself on the bed again. “I knew you would think that I look terrible” Remus said. “You with your perfect face”. Sirius was speechless, he didn't know what to answer. “You don't look terrible Remus, for Merlins sake, you look beautiful”. 

 

As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he had said too much. Friend don't really tell each other that they are beautiful. Remus raised his head. “ You think I am beautiful?” he asked. There was no way getting out of this Sirius thought, so he might as well just tell him. “Yes, of course I do. With or without scars. You have always been beautiful. In fact, you are one of the most beautiful people I know and no one should think different”. 

 

Remus looked startled, he did not know what to say. His eyes searched Sirius for any sign of a joke, but he was dead serious. “Well you are beautiful, too” Remus finally said, eyes flickering down to Sirius lips. Sirius caught the hint, and their lips were on each other. It didn't last for long though. Remus winched in pain at the lip scar and silently cursed it for ruining the moment. He looked at Sirius. “You like me?” he asked. Sirius nodded. “I've liked you since fourth year, but I didn't dare to even dream about you liking me back”. “Well, turns out I did” Remus said, a smile appearing at the corner of his lips. “But no more kissing right now. Do you like to cuddle?” He asked.


End file.
